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(no subject) [Mar. 13th, 2006|08:23 pm]
dead child
I feel like i haven't written a poem in so long, that i can't do it anymore. That's alright though, i am truly happy and maybe that's all that counts. he wrote me something awesome for Valentines...

I fell in love
with an unpolished jewel;
I was shoked,
amazed maybe,
to discover something wonderful
passed over by the world;
It was better than magic,
more lively than the movies
to be living in a dream,
so lucid,
so fluid when i held

i watched you watching me
your eyes watery saphires, punctured
through by uncanny emotion.
I watched you watching me
in the fading light of the afternoon.

I fell in love
that day, fell in love
with a beautiful voyer,
my own magniloquent mistress
with her own hidden mystique,
who knows to converse
is to talk
to laugh meant
it was loaded
and nothing seems finer
than a grilled pb and j

catching you playing
in the moonlight makes me
believe you were a fairy
in a former life and a sweet
cat in the one before it

you can make me smile
on my worst day
I love you
like the grass loves
sunshine and the
leaves love the wind
My love, Nothing seems more natural
on this day.
i want you to know
all men should be this lucky,
lucky enough to have something
worth holding onto forever...
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(no subject) [Oct. 6th, 2004|09:18 pm]
dead child
[mood |melancholymelancholy]
[music |Locked up]

close your eyes
seal your soul
My demons cannot reach you now

In my dreams
i still lay next to you
wrapped up tight
in our lovers embrace
watching as time slipped by us
doing nothing
but holding you closer.

In my dreams
I never ripped your heart out
I never fed upon your soul
I never dimmed the light
that burned
so hot and so bright

In my dreams
I let temptation go
I never touched another man
I never left you
broken on my doorstep
with unanswered questions
and tear stained cheeks

If only dreams came true...

You would still cherish us
And i would be home
holding you close
in our lovers embrace
and your eyes, my love
brilliant and blue
could be wide open
and our souls could re-unite

but dreams don't come true
and our wings
shall stay broken and unmended
and my demons
they'll devour me whole
leaving purple feathers
and answers upon your feet

Forgive me my love
for i cannot
forgive myself.

I am So Sorry Noah
link5 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 3rd, 2004|08:51 pm]
dead child
[mood |calmcalm]

tomorrow is just a whisper
in my mind
a memory i have yet to make
a promise i have yet to live out
A day i want to forget.

i forever miss the quiet of the stream behind the bend
i miss the way it has eroded time and space.
I miss the way the water laps up and over my feet.
I miss the way it looks when the sun is hot
and i am thirsty.

I miss...

My world.
link4 comments|post comment

broken [Oct. 1st, 2004|06:41 pm]
dead child
[mood |crushedcrushed]
[music |hailey's song- eminem]

so lonely
miles away from all the ones i love
empty now
how do you fill the void
when all you haev to give is gone?

complete me
fill the void
answer my dreams
take me away
and stolid
i forgpt how to love
some where along the line
and i just can't quite remember
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(no subject) [Sep. 30th, 2004|09:49 pm]
dead child
[mood |lonelylonely]
[music |of minor prostitues pither... pedro the lion]

foregt the whispers on the wind
close your eyes
and let the teardrops fall
memories are haunting now
a past i want to forget
so many mistakes
so much pain.
i long to be forgotten.

the raindrops we danced in
cleansed me
the music we danced to
soothed me
but no longer may i gaze upon you
no longer may i touch your face
no longer may i dream with you

my angel has left me
walked away
with wings i broke without grace
your soul i stole
without conscience
I am the demon i once turned away
i am the automaton i once despised
walking in this world without a cause
to give me grace.

i reach my bloody palms up to the sky
and cry out for forgiveness.
will his love encapture me
will it heal the wounds i've created
or will this festering scar grow
and engulf me
like the blackness of my soul?
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(no subject) [Mar. 6th, 2003|10:04 am]
dead child
angry tired ovewhelmed
with the fiear inside my soul
alone with the lights of
trembling with fear
dragging one more breath in
on the cigerette that i loathe
before i close my eyes and whisper
goodnight to all the sleeping children in my mind
fading in the dark hell of oblivion
link2 comments|post comment

god i miss her [Nov. 13th, 2001|10:46 am]
dead child
[mood |sadsad]
[music |dispatch]

air i feel within my lungs
like my heart
she was a friend that i have found in no one else
an angel in this world
where we cannot even find religion
my Faith, when i couldn't even see the light.
staring at the stars last night
i remember late night movies
and riding in a horse drawn wagon talking for the very first time.
finding out we were two peas
in a different type of pod.
walking round the lake, and holding hands
with streaming tears
i miss you.
when will i ever see you again.....
link4 comments|post comment

walk back to you [Sep. 4th, 2001|07:42 pm]
dead child
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |nothing]

ambition for my life is fading,
down those pale slick faced walls i walk
with a tear down my cheek
and face plastered to the floor.
nothing to anyone out there
but you
and nothing to anyone inside me.
so little time
and nothing to do.
i can't take being lost all alnoe
except with you.
i have nothing i have no one
you took them all away
and here i sit all alone
waiting for the times you say you love me
and hold me close,
and whisper in my ear the sweet dreams you have for us.
those few and fading moments
when i know what i cannot have
is real and ever binding.
sinking in my hell on earth
i thought of you as my air
now i think of you as the hand that holds me back.
teach me all these new things
then turn your back
and walk away
like i was born to take all this
i'm tired now,
and i can't sleep,
cause you seem to need a fix,
and i am the only one with a mouth like that
and the only one who tastes that sweet.
and i am the only one, who cries when youre done,
and drive back home
and goes to sleep
absorbed in my nightmares of what tomorrow might bring.
i just can't do this anymore.
i thought that you loved me,
but that must have been a lie
for the only thing you love
is my legs and whats between
and i can't take it anymore.
depression sets its slimy hands once more upon my soul
as i crawl back in with open arms
and leave behind to all of you
the memory of a happy girl and the things she'll never be.
her veiws on things so solid and thought out, picked through and rethought, understood and fought for.
i'll leave you with those smiles rare and distant.
and walk back to you in the gloom and grim solemn face i thought i had lost for good.
link8 comments|post comment

i guess that it has been a while [Aug. 16th, 2001|01:27 pm]
dead child
since i have used this computer journal. i wanted to say that i am going to go into the army when i graduate this year, so that you know, i don't have forever anymore. later
link1 comment|post comment

Miss You When I Am Gone [Jun. 29th, 2001|02:11 pm]
dead child
[mood |listlesslistless]
[music |the labirynth sound track]

facing to the west
letting wind rush over me.
afraid of not waking
of falling in the sea
and never realizing the dreams inside my heart.
i walk with you
our hands clasped.
i hold you tight, so deep into the night.
hold you so close
and whisper pretty words
that mean something to me
and they mean something to you.
grazing tender lips to lips
looking in your eyes.
you know me
like i know you
alike and yet so different.
i am happy with you
you make me happy
and i know i make you happy too.
i'll miss you when i am gone
so far away from here
and the way you taste should still linger
like beer and weed and me.
i'll wear your shirt
and smell your scent
after shave and tommy colonge and cigarettes.
i hope that you can taste me too
weed and you and coke.
and smell late into the night on my sheets
and pillows like you and bardaco oil and cigarettes.
i love you like you love me
and no one can take that one away from me
with all my fucking heart and soul
no teenage lust inside of me
but female need and complete love
i'll miss you when i am gone.
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